It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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