sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
