You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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