his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
