i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
