you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
wow bdsm is so cute
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
