Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning