I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me