Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
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there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
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She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.