i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I stole a fireplace last night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.