Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse