OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin