we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
