I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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