I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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