i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
