If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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