Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
