Me. At least after what I've been through.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
