I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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