Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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