Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
