went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
