you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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