are you so shy because you have an std?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize