Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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