it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
