Three words: puerto rican gang bang
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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