u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
