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• (248): View more from Michigan

  if you like me you must not know who I am

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Kareoke will never be a sober sport

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.

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• (818): View more from California

  Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No stitches, just platelets and will power

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• (904): View more from Florida

  nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married

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• (801): View more from Utah

  So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.

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