he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
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The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
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Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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