Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had. http://tfl.nu/opb7
  Replies (54) Good night (9951) Bad night (802)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win. http://tfl.nu/jyaa
  Replies (64) Good night (17342) Bad night (1600)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him. http://tfl.nu/tue9
  Replies (8) Good night (4267) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian. http://tfl.nu/grua
  Replies (20) Good night (2763) Bad night (4430)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well. http://tfl.nu/l70h
  Replies (17) Good night (980) Bad night (5546)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after. http://tfl.nu/s41l
  Replies (8) Good night (3614) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness http://tfl.nu/59mb
  Replies (3) Good night (2333) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship. http://tfl.nu/pyi6
  Replies (6) Good night (1447) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain. http://tfl.nu/r1vy
  Replies (8) Good night (2851) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break. http://tfl.nu/fgur
  Replies (13) Good night (1988) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls. http://tfl.nu/qm6d
  Replies (0) Good night (825) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.

  (682): View more from Texas

  Only you could get away with that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win. (682): Only you could get away with that. http://tfl.nu/0z6o
  Replies (4) Good night (700) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick http://tfl.nu/it39
  Replies (7) Good night (1344) Bad night (252)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face http://tfl.nu/lp55
  Replies (0) Good night (565) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid. 

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.  http://tfl.nu/npnk
  Replies (4) Good night (384) Bad night (322)

Randomize