I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
only you would photoshop your dick
vagina is talking i cant
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.