well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Your topless pictures make me question reality
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it