Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  What are you doing tonight?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.

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  (904): What are you doing tonight? (847): Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life. http://tfl.nu/ilpj
  Replies (15) Good night (859) Bad night (4189)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER

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  (508): WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER http://tfl.nu/4rej
  Replies (12) Good night (752) Bad night (4437)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride

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  (540): she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride http://tfl.nu/utbu
  Replies (47) Good night (1129) Bad night (7661)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.

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  (701): Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this. http://tfl.nu/tncp
  Replies (22) Good night (1740) Bad night (4042)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  what the hell does that mean?

  (208): View more from Idaho

  nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages

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  (208): dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here (1-208): what the hell does that mean? (208): nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages http://tfl.nu/of9o
  Replies (26) Good night (2693) Bad night (4063)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent

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  (918): We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent http://tfl.nu/74gr
  Replies (14) Good night (6610) Bad night (1750)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.

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  (503): He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out. http://tfl.nu/qidl
  Replies (6) Good night (3108) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.

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  (985): Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am. http://tfl.nu/mwe3
  Replies (11) Good night (4662) Bad night (1611)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here

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  (217): i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here http://tfl.nu/dmaq
  Replies (18) Good night (1715) Bad night (2447)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.

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  (417): I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor. http://tfl.nu/qpor
  Replies (8) Good night (995) Bad night (2026)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude

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  (559): She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude http://tfl.nu/6q44
  Replies (2) Good night (614) Bad night (1935)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how

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  (401): How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how http://tfl.nu/4odx
  Replies (18) Good night (1397) Bad night (619)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.

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  (443): I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done. http://tfl.nu/8szd
  Replies (10) Good night (1397) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?

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  (585): Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain? http://tfl.nu/ljpg
  Replies (0) Good night (676) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Seriously, fuck work.

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car

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  (910): Seriously, fuck work. (1-910): uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car http://tfl.nu/awlj
  Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (329)

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