if you like me you must not know who I am
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
No stitches, just platelets and will power
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.