so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
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dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
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All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.