there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
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