If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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