i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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