Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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