Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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