if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Dicks are not precious.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
