she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
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Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
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My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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