new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
