Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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