Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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