He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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