so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
