I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
