I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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