Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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