Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
