She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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