sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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