saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
