You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
