my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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