We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
