I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
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Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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