I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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