It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm having to shit out rocks
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
