She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
