do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
