Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
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I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
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The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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