Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize