epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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