Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
