so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
