If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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