Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
