There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
