I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
