I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
